“I want to spice up our sex life. It has taken a beating in the last few years as we’ve grown older.” “Someone told me about erotic hypnosis and I’ve seen ads on the Internet for DVDs that give you an erotic hypnosis experience.” “Let’s invest in some DVDs. We deserve it.”
“But wait a moment. I just did a Google search and there are 539,000 sites offering erotic hypnosis. And the prices. . . all the way from $29.95 to $1495.00. Ya gotta be kidding.” How can we know which are legitimate? Clearly some are not.” “And the descriptions vary wildly. In fact, let’s think about this. What is erotic hypnosis? In fact, what is hypnosis? Are we going to be controlling each other?” “I went to see a Las Vegas show a few years ago and there was a hypnotist on stage who got a woman to strip to her underwear. It looked like he could even have gone further. Are we trying to do this to each other?” “I love you and I want good sex with you, but I want it because you want it. I don’t want to force or control you.”
Not to worry. Hypnosis can be used to control people, but only up to a point. That Las Vegas show hypnotist had to be using a shill, someone he set up before the show and who would be willing to pretend to be hypnotized. How do I know that? Because you cannot be controlled with hypnosis to do things that violate your own standards and morals. (It might be possible for the hypnotist to convince her that she in her bedroom, about to take a shower. But even then, there’s a very high likelihood that her conscious mind would pop in and take her out of hypnosis.)
Light hypnosis is very easy to learn and do. It doesn’t need all those training DVDs or pre-written hypnosis scripts that cost so much. We hypnotize ourselves regularly. When you lose yourself reading a novel and can’t hear the noise from the next apartment, you have hypnotized yourself.
Now just imagine that you are with your partner. You speak to him in a soft, gentle voice, imploring him to lie quietly on the bed, and just pay attention to your soothing voice, let all other thoughts wander away. You tell him to relax completely. Maybe you start with verbally relaxing his feet and then work your way up to his neck and face.
When he is relaxed, you begin to share with him, what you really want him to do with you. Or, depending on your level of sex talk, you tell him how much you admire his cock. You mention how you love to lick his nipples. (And whatever other parts of his body you know from experience are erogenous.)
Perhaps eventually you go back to talking about his penis, and even if he has erectile difficulty often, you tell him how want to take it into your mouth and lick it all over. You describe what that feels like to you and what it feels like to him. Now you tell that you are anticipating his fingers on your breasts, or on your clitoris; maybe even describe the feeling for each of you of his fingers inside your vagina stimulating your g-spot. Perhaps you describe the feelings along the way as he proceeds to pleasure you.
Eventually, you tell him that he will see, and hear as you have one or multiple, orgasms. Describe what he will experience. How delightful that will be as much for him as for you.
Now, you can begin actually touching and feeling and acting out all the behaviors in the hypnosis. You will likely discover a much greater responsiveness. The more you practice this with him, the more effect it will have.
One key to success is to write a script. It must be positive and include suggestions about actions that the two of you enjoy and consequent emotions. On the other hand it would best not include negatives, prohibitions, and instructions to not do this or not do that or not imagine certain things. The pre-conscious mind tends to take all suggestions and translate them into actions, most often ignoring the negative command. The specifics of this “hypnosis script” will vary, depending on your relationship and what you have learned to do with each other.
Of course the whole thing will also work in reverse with him being the hypnotist and the script being more about you. Give him lots of hints, especially if he does not already know all your erogenous areas. It does not diminish the value if you write the scripts together, but in actual delivery, it is best to alternate rolls, hypnotist and hypnotized.
Does all this sound like “erotic hypnosis?” Well, it may well not be all that hype has led you to expect. But it is hypnosis if the other person is willing to let go. The conscious mind will subdue itself and allow the pre-consious full reign. On the other hand, if either of you is resistant then the conscious mind will try to stay in charge and not cede control.
If you meditate, especially mindfulness meditation, you might think this is meditation. There are similarities. As a meditator myself, I see hypnosis of this kind as existing on a spectrum from full conscious awareness through meditation, then this light hypnosis and on to depth regressive hypnotherapy. Deep hypnosis and therapy requires extensive training and leads to degrees in mental and emotional health doctorates with years of internship.
This is light erotic hypnosis and a good place to start. I will follow up later with more and deeper erotic hypnosis for those who choose to experiment with this.
This is not one of those commercial products that promises instant control and instant ecstatic orgasms. You may decide, after giving it several satisfactory tries, that you want to spend the money and buy a $995 DVD set. I’ve looked at many of these products and been unimpressed.
*If you want to know more about hypnosis, The Idiot’s Guide to Hypnosis is a pretty good book. I am not fond of the title because neither you nor I are idiots, but the content is pretty good. (Not so, The Dummies Book on Self Hypnosis.)